The Girl's Guide
Issue 102: We're So Back (feat. Sarah Calvis)
Welcome back to The Girl’s Guide! If you missed the most recent issue, find it here.
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Ask Evie
Q: Hi Evie, I was struck by the career advice one of your interviewees gives young women to be "willing to do the little tasks others might refuse." Is that always true? Or should you set some boundaries? This is a topic I've been thinking about lately. In my early 20s, I never said “no” to any task. In retrospect, I think my work got exploited. Sometimes there was appreciation from my coworkers, but often there wasn’t. These days, I still occasionally get asked to do work that isn’t aligned with my core role. I think to myself: Should I say yes to show that I’m a team player? Or should I say no because this a thankless task that someone else weaseled out of? Any thoughts you might have would be appreciated. -Essentially Working
A: Dear Essentially Working,
This is such a great question, and the answer is different for every woman and situation. However, I’ll attempt to give you some things to think about as you set boundaries at work. No one likes to feel taken advantage of. “Never say no” is a piece of advice often given to recent grads as they embark on their careers — and it should probably be amended to “rarely say no.” Obviously, if you’re asked to do something immoral, say no! But otherwise, brand new employees often have to prove themselves to their teams, and that often involves doing the least glamorous tasks. If you’re in a healthy work environment, you’ll soon grow out of that stage.
But it sounds like you’re no longer brand new — you have several years of experience under your belt. It’s important to remember that there’s no such thing as a dream job. Just like a dream man is a figment of our imaginations, a dream job is also pie in the sky — by definition. No matter how close to perfect your job is, there will always be things you don’t like about it.
But that doesn’t mean that if you are having more frustrations than victories at your job, you need to stick it out. You just need to be realistic in how you evaluate whether to stay or move on. A really good metric I’d suggest is taking stock of the floor and ceiling of your job. The floor is the thankless tasks you mentioned — picking up lunch for everyone, cleaning up spreadsheets, doing mindless data entry. The ceiling of your job is your most challenging and valuable tasks. You could be closing deals that take the company to the next level. You could be giving presentations at crucial meetings with your boss’s boss’s boss nodding in approval. You could be publishing scoops from members of Congress.
Or maybe… you feel like you’re constantly bumping up against the ceiling imposed on you. Then add on the couple of thankless tasks per week you have to do – and you’re over it. If you find you’re no longer the most junior member of your team, but you’re still picking up the slack, it might be time to start saying no.
The size of your company can affect how big your floor-to-ceiling ratio is, too. It’s not unusual for an executive at a small company to also restock the fridge from time to time. If you’re at a small firm, you probably won’t have many people you can delegate tasks to – but you also have the chance to do important work that really matters to the company.
If you’re at a big corporation, you may not be the one who has to clean out the fridge – but you likely have a lot more rules and regulations governing your tasks. You can’t take big risks with big rewards.
So if you feel like your job’s ceiling is high – don’t sweat it when you’re asked to do the small stuff, too. But if you feel like you’re not getting the chance to learn or grow, then it might be time to make a change. Whether that’s talking to a supervisor about the true definition of your role, or looking for a new job, is up to you.
Submit your questions to Ask Evie anonymously via this form.
Interview with Sarah Calvis
This week’s interview is with Sarah Calvis, an Ohio native who now calls DC home! Connect with Sarah on Twitter.
What do you love about your neighborhood?
I have lived in a rowhouse on Capitol Hill since November 2022. My three roommates have become dear friends to me. We run a weekly book club, throw parties large and small, and share clothes, books, dreams, friends, and little splashes of half-and-half when someone runs out. In addition to my sweet home, I love living within walking distance from many dear friends, church, work, the gym, museums, and Eastern Market.
What does your life look like right now?
I work as the Personnel Manager at American Moment (some of Evie's readership may be familiar). We train and credential junior staff in Washington, DC. It is a privilege to help people find work where they can serve their country, and it's exciting to be a part of building personnel infrastructure on the right.
What’s something you wish you’d known before moving to DC?
I am an over-scheduler and not someone who by nature understands the finitude of time. The most important thing I have learned to do since moving to DC is to reflect on my duties—to God, to my job, to my friends and to the people I love—and then write a schedule detailing how I will fulfill each of them. Since I rarely keep the schedule perfectly, it mostly serves to make me be realistic about what I can get done. Planning the hours of my day saves me from unforced errors like implicitly prioritizing making marinara sauce from scratch over prayer.
What are you excited to cook or bake in 2024?
My 2024 cooking priority is to cook my way through the butcher's counter. I grew up in a family that prioritizes carbs (amazing, delicious), and I cooked a steak for the first time ever recently, so I have a long way to go. I also want to make beef birria, perfect the oven-baked sweet potato fry, and bake croissants.
What are your favorite DC weekend activities?
Aside from the normal fun things to do on the weekends in DC, like visiting museums, taking walks, or going to the farmer's market, I strongly recommend hosting a friend or family member for the weekend. DC is the ideal city for entertaining visitors because in addition to seeing you, your guests can spend some time sightseeing in our nation's capital. Some of my favorite DC memories from the past year are with visitors: throwing a big dinner party at my house so my family could meet my friends, wedding dress shopping with my little sisters (one of whom is recently engaged), attending the Congressional Baseball Game with my cousin.
The Haps
Will 2024 Be Another Great Year for Movies?
2023 was the year that officially marked the return of going to the movies. I wrote about why people got tired of streaming and what movies we have to look forward to in 2024 for Evie Magazine — read it here. Which movies am I most excited for? Mickey 17, The Fall Guy, and, of course, Gladiator 2.
Love Is Blind Goes Nordic
Netflix’s Love is Blind is the trash TV I love to hate — even when it goes international. I was sad that Love is Blind: Sweden feels soooo much like the U.S. version. In Love is Blind: Japan, the cast members dressed in distinctly Japanese styles and even the set design featured cherry blossoms. Not so with the Swedish version. The contestants dress, style their hair, and wear too much makeup just like their American counterparts. And don’t even get me started on Sergio (below). So if you’re interested in learning more about Nordic culture, might I suggest the Living a Nordic Life podcast with Fiona McKinna instead?
Here are more links to what I’m reading and writing lately:
The Death of the Girl Boss: I interviewed Rebekah Merkle and Carmel Richardson about Gen Z’s reaction to millennial “girlboss” trends.
David O. Russell to Direct Linda Ronstadt Biopic, Starring Selena Gomez: I’m not sure if Selena Gomez is who I would pick to play country legend Linda Ronstadt. Please listen to Ronstadt’s music if you haven’t before!
Amid Israel-Hamas war, Israel's Eurovision performance politicalized: Icelandic and Finnish musicians don’t want Israel to participate in the storied contest.
Is Laufey Jazz?: Jazzy pop singer Laufey has been my snow day soundtrack this week.
Job Hunting?
My husband’s organization, American Moment, has just opened applications for their fourth annual summer Fellowship! You can join the Class of 2024 from May 24 to August 9, 2024. No college degree or political experience is required. Did I mention pay is $3,000 per month? The deadline to apply is February 2, 2024 — find the application here.
Thank you Dear Evie. I thoroughly enjoy reading Girl’s Guide! We are enjoying Laufey Jazz thanks to your introduction!