The Girl's Guide
Issue 99: Church Searching
Welcome back to The Girl’s Guide! If you missed the most recent issue, find it here.
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Your Questions, Answered
I love answering reader questions — so much so that I have a Google form where you can submit your Ask Evie questions anonymously — but sometimes I like to get a little help to craft a thoughtful answer. That’s why today’s Ask Evie column is actually an Ask Katy column! I reached out to author Katy Faust to answer a reader’s question, and I think you will find her response helpful.
A little more about Katy: She and her pastor husband are raising their four children in Seattle. You can find her on Twitter here and check out her new book, Raising Conservative Kids in a Woke City, here.
Hey Evie, I know a lot of Christian women are in your readership, so I'm hoping that you might be able to share some good tips for finding a new church in DC? I live in NW and want to be more intentional about how I spend my Sundays going forward. I'm struggling with finding a church that feels like the right fit, but then again there's so many options across DC it's almost too overwhelming to consider what it would take to find the place for me. Any tips for how to approach this search?
- Church Searching
Katy’s answer: First and foremost — doctrine. That should be obvious, but it deserves saying anyway. Scrutinize the church’s “What We Believe” webpage, and prioritize churches which have the stones to apply biblical principles to modern-day issues and events. Do not go to a church that refuses to speak clearly about gender, marriage, race, or the government's role (and non-role) in your life. Do not even consider a church with a female pastor as it’s a sure sign of doctrinal compromise or at minimum, a dimmer view of scripture. And practically, that means you are less likely to succeed with point number two.
Second, men. Whether you are single or married, go to the church that is as close as possible to a 50/50 gender ratio. There are very few churches that really speak to men and make them enthusiastic about choosing fellowship over football. If you’re single, you want a good pool of well-formed guys — and that can’t happen unless they are surrounded by well-formed men. If you’re married, go to the church your husband likes — you can make friends anywhere. He may not.
Third, proximity over preferences. Find a church that is close to you, within walking distance if possible. You want these biblical and courageous people in your, and your children’s, lives regularly — multiple times a week, in fact. That’s much harder to accomplish if you’re driving 25 minutes (probably past a dozen solid churches) to get to the one with the hip worship and latte bar. Whether it’s the style of music, using paper versus digital bulletins, or having vegan options at their potlucks, let your preferences take a back seat.
Submit your questions to Ask Evie anonymously via this form.
The Haps
Rest in Peace, Admiral
From DCist: “Jim Toole, who owned Capitol Hill Books for over 20 years and was affectionately known by staff and customers as ‘The Admiral,’ died over the weekend, according to his family and colleagues. He was 86. Toole, a former rear admiral in the U.S. Navy, purchased the bookstore from the original owner in 1995 and ran it until 2018 when he sold it to a group of his employees.” Read the rest of the article here.
Here are more links to what I’m reading and listening to this week:
Peacock Is Bringing Monk Back for One Last Case: I’ve seen every episode of Monk ever made, so this movie is a welcome addition.
WTF with Marc Maron - Amy Sherman-Palladino: I wish I had found this May interview while The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel was still airing, but it is still a super interesting listen.
The Brash Group of Young Conservatives Getting Ready for the Next Trump Administration: Proud wife alert! Politico profiles Nick’s group American Moment.
Happy First Birthday, Margot!
I can’t believe it, but my baby girl turns one today. Margot is now a bubbly 1-year-old who is dangerously close to walking on her own. Thank you to all the readers who sent me encouragement when Margot was first born — now I’ll be needing all your advice for handling the toddler years!
Reader’s Corner
In case you missed it, I wrote about Panythose Traumatic Stress Disorder in last week’s newsletter — and one reader had her own PTSD story to share:
“Interesting segment on pantyhose. I sometimes wonder if the divisions on this issue are North versus South. In the North, young women think they are old-fashioned, and in the South, they are often still considered a necessary part of a lady's outfit.
I have a pantyhose trauma. My brother got married in Greenville, SC, where his wife is from. When I appeared at the church in my bridesmaid dress with bare legs, the bride's mom let out an audible gasp and exclaimed in a thick southern accent, ‘Where are your pantyhose?!’ I struggled to find the words to explain that this item of clothing is alien to me. But she cut me off, ‘You are going to ruin the photos!’ She sent a relative to the drug store to buy me some pantyhose and I wore them. It was wild.”
- Sheer Disbelief
