The Girl's Guide to DC
Issue 42: Fake Friends, Real Friends
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! If you missed last week’s issue, find it here.
I want this newsletter to be about you, the ladies of DC, so send me your favorite thrift shops and bad date rants by replying to this email.
Ask Evie
Tips on making friends in the city? - New Girl in This Town
Dear New Girl in This Town,
It can be overwhelming to arrive in a new city and start your social life from scratch. And with many people reshuffling their lives after 2020, some of us lost entire friend groups despite staying in the same city. If you feel this way, you’re not alone – according to a May 2021 study, young women are the demographic whose friendships were most affected by the pandemic. Nearly 60% of young women reported having lost touch with at least a few friends since March 2020.
DC is an interesting place to make friends because everyone is so career-focused – you might wonder if an acquaintance is asking you to grab coffee just to network. If you’re someone who’s put off by the “network-y” vibe of DC, you may appreciate this quote from Arthur Brooks’ essay “The Best Friends Can Do Nothing for You.”
The key to building perfect friendships is to see relationships not as stepping stones to something else, but as boons to pursue for their own sake. One way to do this is to make friends not just outside your workplace, but outside all of your professional and educational networks. Strike up a friendship with someone who truly can do nothing for you besides caring about you and giving you good company.
Maybe this sounds difficult or awkward, but I assure you it isn’t. It simply requires showing up in places that are unrelated to your worldly ambitions. Whether it is a house of worship, a bowling league, or a charitable cause unrelated to your work, these are the places where you meet people who might be capable of sharing your loves, but without advancing your career. When you meet someone you like, don’t overthink it: Invite them over.
Invite them over (or out to coffee) – it’s as simple as that! But how do you even begin to find real friends in a big city?
My answer? Pretty much anywhere. I’ve even made a great friend riding the bus to work (shout out to Ellie!). I asked you ladies to send in some of the unexpected ways you’ve met your closest friends, and you didn’t disappoint:
Taking a fitness class
Going to a social event at your apartment complex
Working on a campaign
Attending a political convention
Sliding into DMs (platonically)
Those examples are all great ways to meet like-minded people, but I think attracting new friends is about attitude, not a checklist.
All of us have heard the adage “be the friend you wish you had.” I guess I’m outing myself as a TikTok user, but TikToker Sterling Quinn (view her profile here) has some spot-on videos about her experience finding friends in your 20s. Her number one tip? Just smile and compliment people, whether it’s the girl behind you in the coffeeshop line or the barista taking your order. More often than not, they will really appreciate it and open up to you, and you may have just made a new friend.
My best advice for someone looking to make friends in DC is to do the things you love and keep an open mind about the people you meet. Age, politics, career and all the other boxes we put people in don’t matter if you enjoy each others’ company. Chances are that the person you want to befriend is looking for friends too.
So if I’m allowed to give homework (sorry to all the college students reading this), my assignment for you this week is to reach out to one person and ask them to hang out! Please let me know how it goes at girlygirlsguidetodc@gmail.com!
Submit your questions to Ask Evie anonymously via this form.
Interview with Isabelle Rosini
You know the drill — every week, I introduce you to a woman who knows the ins and outs of DC. Meet Isabelle Rosini, an outspoken New Jersey defender and graduate of The Catholic University of America. Connect with Isabelle on Twitter!
What do you love about your neighborhood?
I live in a townhouse in H Street Corridor. H Street is pretty self-contained and has a number of great restaurants and fun, eclectic bars, all within walking distance of each other. And though H Street has plenty to keep me busy, I also love this neighborhood for its proximity to the Capitol Hill and NoMA neighborhoods.
On the weekends, I can easily walk down to the Mall, or, I can go in the opposite direction and check out Union Market and all the surrounding shops that have been popping up around there.
What does your life look like right now?
Right now I am working in the press department at FreedomWorks. I started out there as a press intern when I was a senior at Catholic U and basically begged them for a full-time job when I graduated (kidding!).
I feel incredibly fortunate to work at a company filled with so much dynamism and so many talented, hard-working people. It’s funny — in college, I studied English Literature and never thought I’d end up in politics. But it turns out, I got really lucky and landed right where I needed to be!
What’s your favorite coffee shop in DC?
My favorite coffee shop is The Wydown in H Street Corridor. Another place I really love is Café Unido, a Panamanian coffee shop, though I don’t think I’ve been there enough times to call it my favorite. Also, at the risk of sounding basic, Ebenezers in Capitol Hill never disappoints.
What do you wish you had known before moving to DC?
I would say something that surprised me is how intentional you have to be at making close friends. People in DC are incredibly social— if you wanted to, you could have plans every night of the week. But for me, what’s been both difficult and rewarding is developing relationships with people who will be friends for longer than just a season (though that’s okay, too!).
What’s your beauty routine like?
My beauty routine is pretty bare bones. I have a consistent face wash and moisturizing routine in the morning and at night. When I go to work, I usually just wear foundation and mascara, but I do love adding some flair from time to time, like pink eyeliner or a bright lip color. Hair is an afterthought. Mainly, I like to focus less on covering up problems with makeup/products and more on making sure that I am treating my body well with good sleep and good food.
Even still, I do have a couple of favorite products. CeraVe should pay me to rep their Daily Moisturizing Lotion because I tell everyone I know about it. Also, Urban Decay’s Perversion Mascara is the only mascara I’ll be using for the rest of my life.
How would you describe your sense of style?
I always joke about how if I had to give my style a name, I’d call it Puritan Chic (others might simply call it goth). I like long, black dresses, and anything velvet or with a high neck. The H&M collaboration with British brand The Vampire’s Wife from 2020 gives a good visual of my ideal fashion aesthetic, although it’s not always so dramatic on a day to day basis, and I DO own clothing in colors other than black.
I will say that I am terrible at “in-between” dressing—the kind of clothes you’d wear to run an errand or for a casual outing. For me, I’m either going full-blown Victorian Vampire/Puritan Chic or you can catch me wearing a t-shirt and leggings. I blame this knowledge gap on the fact that I went to Catholic school and wore a uniform for 13 years of my life.
The Haps
Fox Correspondent Benjamin Hall Out of Ukraine
Normally, I like to keep this section of the newsletter light, but I think many of us in DC were horrified to hear of the deaths of Pierre Zakrzewski and journalist Oleksandra "Sasha" Kuvshynova, and the injury of Benjamin Hall, while they were covering the events in Ukraine. My heart goes out to all of my former Fox colleagues at this time. You can read the latest update on Hall, who suffered serious injuries, by clicking here.
From Page to Screen
I’m always excited to hear that one of my favorite novels is being adapted for the small screen, and the latest news about Apple+’s adaptation of Pachinko by Min Jin Lee is no exception. If you haven’t read the novel, I highly recommend it — it’s a historical epic that centers on the life of Sunja, a Korean girl who finds herself a second-class citizen in Japan. Read Rolling Stone’s review of the series, which drops March 25, here.
Bulletin Board
Congrats to CLARE and CALEB MORELL, who welcomed FLAVIUS CLEMENT MORELL on March 11! Flavius joins big brother Theodore.
Come work with me! DISTRICT MEDIA GROUP is hiring an account executive — it’s completely remote, so you can be based anywhere in the U.S. View the job opening by clicking here!
Help a Sister Out
I’ve had a few requests to create the ultimate DC thrift shopping guide — but I can only put it together with your help! Send me the address of your favorite thrift shop, plus a description of what you like to find there (and photos if you have them). I’ll be forever grateful!