The Girl's Guide to DC
Issue 14: You Found A Boy. Now What?
Welcome back! If you missed my last issue, find it here.
I want this newsletter to be about you, the ladies of DC, so send me your healthy lunch recipes, bad date rants, and housing horror stories by replying to this email.
What They Don’t Tell You
DC is known for being a city with a lot of first dates. We’re all perfectionists, and we don’t like to waste time if we don’t see a relationship going somewhere.
But what do you do when you find someone you really like, and it’s time to get to know each other on a deeper level than favorite movies and birth order?
Here are a few out-of-the-box ways my fiancé Nick and I got to know each other better over the past year. Whether you’re telling each other funny childhood stories or sharing your deepest convictions, all of those little details help you get a fuller picture of your significant other.
Listen to dating podcasts together
We hear that “communication is key” in relationships all the time, but what does that mean??
Good communication has a lot to do with setting expectations before you hit a roadblock. Podcasts about modern dating can offer a great springboard for these topics.
When Nick gets bored enough during long road trips, I turn on the Q&A episodes of “The Viall Files.” Callers with crazy questions ask former Bachelor Nick Viall for advice on their love lives.
Soon we realized that the callers’ questions about topics like friendships with the opposite sex, raising children, and finances were spurring some great conversations between us. Half the time we wouldn’t even finish an episode but would get sidetracked talking about how we each would have handled a particular situation.
Make a question jar
Okay, so this is a little bit arts and crafts-y, but stick with me here.
After intricately planning our first two dates, Nick told me it was my turn to plan our third date. I decided to include a jar of questions to help us get to know each other better over dinner! I found numerous lists online with all kinds of questions and copied them onto strips of paper — questions like “Could you live as a hermit?” and “What extended family member are you closest to?”
Nick still has the jar sitting in his living room! We couldn’t get through all of the questions in one sitting, but over the next few weeks we would answer a few questions at a meal or during down time and it was a fun way to bring up topics we may never have gotten to on our own.
To help you get started, here’s a list of 250 questions to get to know someone.
Have a no-phone day
Not looking at my phone for an hour is hard, let alone a whole day. But some of the best days Nick and I have spent together have been totally unplugged. We turn our phones off first thing on Saturday and spend the day reading, taking walks, visiting the farmer’s market, and cooking.
There’s something to be said for an unbroken thread of conversation with no news alerts, social media notifications, or group texts. Try it with your partner, even for just a morning or afternoon, and let me know how you like it!
Help me with future issues of The Girl’s Guide to DC: send your housing horror stories to girlygirlsguidetodc@gmail.com!
Interview with Demri Scott
Every week, I plan to introduce you to a woman who knows the ins and outs of DC.
Demri Scott has been through a lot of changes in the last year, including adopting her dog Benji! Demri says it’s hard to believe her adorable terrier mix was once a stray wandering the streets of San Antonio, Texas, because he is the most joyful puppy.
What does your job look like during quarantine?
I’m a Legislative Assistant for a U.S. senator. With so much of DC shut down, I spent more time at home which allowed me to dig into my passions and find more of the things that light my soul on fire, including foreign policy and cycling classes when I'm not at work! During the past year, I was promoted, moved to Capitol Hill and met my boyfriend. It has been a crazy year of growth for me!
What’s your favorite DC eatery?
Wine & Butter by Lincoln Park in Capitol Hill is one of my favorites! I love the Parisienne vibe, and they always have a great selection of wines, cheeses and sandwiches.
What Bible verse has been speaking to you lately?
The Bible has so much wisdom, but I keep on coming back to Psalm 23. It is so comforting to know that no matter where we are in life (a hill or a valley), God loves us deeply, He is always faithful and He is guiding our lives. It is no secret that this year has been difficult for so many people, so knowing that we have a peaceful place with God for all of eternity is so powerful.
How would you describe your style?
I have two different vibes, Lilly Pulitzer on one end and very edgy on the other end. When I'm feeling edgy, I'll add chunky necklaces, crazy earrings or fun shoes to a basic outfit. When I'm feeling Lilly Pulitzer, I tend to go for florals or bright colors paired with dainty accessories. Either way, I tend to have my hair pulled up in a bun or in a super fun claw clip. I learned from the best style icon out there, my mom!
Find Demri on Instagram here and Benji on Instagram here!
The Haps
Sneak Peek at The Bachelorette Season 18
Although Katie Thurston’s season of The Bachelorette has not yet come to an end, ABC is keeping us hooked by dropping Michelle Young’s suitors for her upcoming season. Check out this post breaking down all the dudes.
This is my favorite part of a new season of The Bachelor franchise — judging people based on a single photo! I believe young Brandon J. below will go far if he leans into his “The Rock” resemblance.
Here are more links to what I’m reading these days:
The Body Image Issue We Don’t Talk About: Madeline Fry Schultz has a great essay in Verily reminding women of the false reality that exists on Instagram. Connect with Madeline on Twitter.
The New Moral Code of America’s Elite: I’m pretty sure I’m more confused after reading this account of Amy Chua’s battle with Yale Law School. Come for the Tiger Mom drama, stay for Liz Bruenig’s indictment of the tattletale. H/t Harvest Prude.
Ask Evie
Have a question you want me to answer in the newsletter? Click this link to send your question anonymously!
I can’t promise to have all the answers, but I will consult with the experts, a.k.a. the plotlines of my favorite 2000s romcoms.
Reader’s Corner
The Taste of the South charity gala is an annual tradition highlighting Southern cuisine! Thank you to all the lovely ladies who sent in pics from Saturday night — who doesn’t love a chance to be glamorous and eat yummy food?
Congrats & More
Congrats to ABBY SCHWARTZ and HOUSTON KEENE on their engagement! See Houston’s post after proposing on Saturday.
Got feedback, or just need to vent about a bad date? Email me at girlygirlsguidetodc@gmail.com.