The Girl's Guide to DC
Issue 34: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss
Welcome back! If you missed last week’s issue, find it here.
I want this newsletter to be about you, the ladies of DC, so send me your career advice and bad date stories by replying to this email.
What They Don’t Tell You
I know, I know, we all collectively decided to end our girlboss eras. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try hard at work (sometimes).
But beyond the three G’s (Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss), what career advice has impacted you most? Send me the best piece of career advice you ever received at girlygirlsguidetodc@gmail.com — I’d love to feature it in next week’s newsletter!
Guess it’s time for me to put my money where my mouth is and share the best piece of career advice I’ve ever received:
Do, but also seem.
This is an aphorism my dad says a lot. Last time I asked him, he wasn’t exactly sure where it comes from, but I did some digging and discovered it comes from a book called The Art of Worldly Wisdom, written by Jesuit priest Baltasar Gracian in the 1600s.
So how does advice from a long-dead priest apply to your career? Well, for many of us task-oriented, Type A people who end up in DC, we think checking off a list of goals is enough to enjoy success in our careers. We wonder why people aren’t noticing how much we’re getting done. The principle of “do, but also seem” reminds us that no matter how aware we are of our own success, we must project that successful image to those around us.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that you can’t wait around for someone to hand you a gold star — you have to tell them yourself why you earned it. This doesn’t mean being in-your-face, rude, or braggadocious. It just means being honest.
So, what are some practical ways to apply Gracian’s aphorism? Here are a few that come to mind:
Don’t let others steal credit from you at work.
Don’t downplay how hard or time-consuming a difficult task was to your boss.
Keep a list of your achievements (large and small) to reference in year-end reviews.
If you are able to, post about your major career milestones on social media (your friends will want to celebrate your success with you, and potential employers lurk on social media more than you realize).
If you consistently go above and beyond at a job and never receive any recognition or reward, it’s probably time to get a new job.
Don’t be afraid to politely say “I told you so” if you have the receipts.
These tips are especially applicable to the field of journalism. I worked in journalism full-time for about three years, so if you ever want to chat about that, drop me a line by replying to this email. It’s a really noisy field, and sometimes the only way to cut through is to constantly tout your work on social media and let people know where you’re making a difference. The journalism corollary to “do but also seem” that I came up with is “The most successful journalists are ones who are the best at doing PR for themselves.” Of course, this applies to other career fields as well!
I hope you found this column helpful — don’t forget to send me the best piece of career advice you ever received at girlygirlsguidetodc@gmail.com!
Interview with Carolyn Bolton
Every week, I introduce you to a woman who knows the ins and outs of DC. This week, that woman is Carolyn Bolton! Give her a follow on Twitter and Instagram.
What neighborhood do you live in?
I live in Old Town Alexandria and love how walkable it is. There is so much character and history. There are no skyscrapers blocking the sun from shining through the trees, and DC is still a hop, skip and a jump away if I want to visit a museum, go to a game or the theater. There's also easy access to the Mt. Vernon Trail and DCA, which I appreciate.
What does your life look like right now?
Right now, I'm in the office most days, spreading the word about charitable investment accounts and devising ways to make the financial tool more accessible to everyday givers like my parents, siblings, friends.
What's your favorite restaurant in the DC area?
For a meal that doesn't break the bank, I love Mia's Italian Kitchen, near the waterfront in Old Town. For a celebratory night out, I like Virtue Feed & Grain or Landini Brothers.
What's the best piece of career advice you've ever received?
When I moved to the area permanently in 2013, I was balls-to-the-wall, ready to change the world — very much had a "now or never" attitude. I'll never forget my editor at the time saying I need to pick my battles. I've since mellowed and am careful to prioritize patience and compassion.
What’s your beauty routine?
I highly recommend prescription retinol for spot treatment. Otherwise, I love Glossier and Thrive Causemetics. Their products are hypo-allergenic and Thrive donates a portion of its proceeds to charities that help women battling cancer, homelessness, and domestic abuse. And Thrive mascara comes off in tubes so you never have to worry about racoon eyes or crying with your makeup on. It's magical.
How would you describe your style?
My boyfriend laughed at this question, which means I probably need to up my game! I love puff sleeves; stand collars; vintage brooches; family heirlooms. So, I would describe my style as "Megan Follows' Anne of Green Gables meets Audrey Hepburn" — old-fashioned with a dash of modern elegance.
The Haps
The Dark Side of Apple AirTags
Great, yet another safety concern for young women… Apple AirTags are a sneaky way to track your valuables, and it turns out criminals are using them to track high-end vehicles and even potential victims.
“The problem is that these low-cost ($29) minuscule discs, when in the wrong hands, are being slipped into women’s coat pockets, tucked behind license plates, and inserted into purses without consent,” Melody Rose reports for Evie Magazine. Read the full article here and stay vigilant.
Watch Out for West Elm Caleb
Sure, social media has been used for good and evil, but never has it been put to better use than for the women of NYC to find out they’re all dating the same man. That man’s name is (allegedly) Caleb Hunter, better known as West Elm Caleb (where he works). Thanks to several women’s TikToks, he probably won’t have a date for a long time. Read the full story here.
After the women of NYC trailblazed total social media destruction of West Elm Caleb’s love life, others are sure to follow. The men of DC should be shaking in their boots.
The History of Turtlenecks
Throughout fall and winter, you can find me wearing my favorite fashion item of all time: the turtleneck sweater. If you’re wondering about the origins of this iconic sweater, check out this recent investigation from The Wall Street Journal: A History of the Turtleneck, From Medieval Knights to Elizabeth Holmes. Brb, reclaiming the black turtleneck from the world’s most notorious girlboss.
Here are links to what I’ve been working on lately:
7 Things To Know About Julia Fox, Kanye West's New Girlfriend: I listened to Julia Fox’s podcast so you don’t have to.
6 Items You Should Dump From Your Closet If You Want To Be Taken Seriously: These six wardrobe culprits can make you look younger than you really are.
Congrats & More
Congrats to EMMA POSEY and JACKSON WATERS, who were married on Jan. 14 in Columbus, Georgia! See Emma’s post here.
LAUREN BALDWIN joins America First Policy Institute as a policy analyst. Congratulate her on Twitter!
Ask Evie
Have a question you want me to answer in the newsletter? Click this link to send your question anonymously!
I can’t promise to have all the answers, but I will consult with the experts, a.k.a. the plotlines of my favorite 2000s romcoms.