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Ask Evie
Submit your questions to Ask Evie anonymously via this form.
I used to suffer from comparing myself to others, whether it be grades, fashion, beauty, popularity, etc. — but fortunately I’ve been able to embrace “be yourself” and feel confident in my own skin/situation. Woo-hoo! But, being a young professional, a new comparison tendency has been creeping up on me… salary comparison. How can I keep myself from comparing salaries and feeling like I fall short financially? - Money on My Mind
Dear Money on My Mind,
It’s true – comparison is the thief of joy! Kudos to you that you recognize this and want to do something about it.
I have a feeling that it’s not just knowing your peers’ salaries that is bugging you – it’s the disparity in how you’re able to spend your money. Maybe the people in your circle judge others based on how much they earn (um, snobby!). But I’m guessing that your main struggle is seeing the international vacations or expensive restaurants your friends post on social media and feeling left out or inadequate.
People talk about how your twenties can be a confusing time because everyone’s lives are in different places – some are focused on career, some are focused on marriage and kids, and others are focused on partying like they’re still in college. But your twenties can also be a confusing time because, based on your career choices, you and your friends can have wildly different starting salaries. What feels like a pricey dinner to you could feel like a lowkey meal to a friend.
But you shouldn’t make your life choices based on salary alone – and there are several studies that show prioritizing purpose, not dollar signs, ultimately leads to happiness. For example, a 2018 study found that, while there is a minimum amount of money we need to be happy, “earnings past [$105,000 per year] tended to coincide with lower levels of happiness and well-being, researchers found,” according to USA Today. That’s a pretty crazy finding.
All of us have heard stories from people with extremely high-paying jobs who walk away from it all due to burnout. In life, there are tradeoffs to everything. If you have prioritized things like emotional fulfillment or flexible scheduling over a giant salary in your career, you’re just reaping a different kind of reward. Of course, if you are being severely underpaid, and you know people in similar positions are making substantially more than you, you can and should make a change. But if you are able to enjoy your job, provide for yourself, and save a little money on the side, you’re doing well, even if you didn’t hit six figures by 30 like some people do.
You may be thinking – Evie, are you saying I’m just supposed to sit at home with my ramen and pretend I hate fun things like traveling and going out? Of course not. If you find yourself scrolling Instagram and feeling jealous of the disposable income that other people seem to have, I’ve got three words of advice for you: Become more interesting.
Sure, you may know people who always buy the latest tech gadget or order the most expensive thing on the menu – but does that actually make them interesting and pleasant to be around? Oftentimes, it means the opposite. Being someone who’s well-read, has a hobby other than Netflix, and cares about the people around you makes you infinitely more interesting — and able to enjoy your own life, not pine for someone else’s.
It doesn’t take a load of cash to pursue things that you enjoy, learn a new skill, or spend time with friends. If you can’t have fun sitting at a park with friends, you’re not going to be any happier eating $100 entrees at restaurant week. As social creatures, we’re always susceptible to FOMO, but if you’re someone who can be happy enjoying the simple things with friends, as well as by yourself, that’s a skill that will carry you through your entire life.
The Haps
Love is Blind Takes DC
Good news for DC-based Love Is Blind fans — instead of just watching the popular Netflix dating show, you can star in it. Even if you don’t find true love, you can at least be turned into a meme for your 15 seconds of fame. It’s unclear if Netflix plans to shoot a future season of Love Is Blind in DC or is just looking to cast DC singles — the show is also recruiting singles from Detroit, Tampa, and Charlotte, according to The DCist.
I think a DC-based season of Love Is Blind would be amazing — who hasn’t wished for a TV show that combines Veep and The Bachelor? I know I have. I’d love to hear from you if you apply to the show — hit me up at girlygirlsguidetodc@gmail.com. H/t Harvest Prude
Here are more links to what I’ve been reading and listening to this week:
10 Of The Strangest Items I Found At T.J. Maxx: This article from Evie Magazine made me LOL.
Tori Petersen on Growing Up in Foster Care, Being Crowned Mrs. Universe, and Becoming an Author: Try not to cry while listening to this episode of the Problematic Women podcast! Host Virginia Allen interviews Tori about her forthcoming book.
Bulletin Board
Congrats to JOHN and SAMANTHA ASCHIERIS on their marriage this past weekend! Congratulate Samantha on Twitter.
Congrats to SETH and ANSLEY MACKINNEY on their marriage this past weekend! Congratulate Ansley on Instagram.
Tweet of the Week
Recipe Corner
I’m collecting your favorite quick and healthy meals for an upcoming issue of Girl’s Guide! Submit your favorite recipe (or recipes) by replying to this email.