The Girly Girl's Guide to DC
Issue 4: A Lament for Karaoke
Welcome back! If you missed last week’s issue, find it here.
I want this newsletter to be about you, the ladies of DC, so send me your best cherry blossom pics, bad date rants or money-saving tips by replying to this email.
What They Don’t Tell You
Do you want to know one thing no one tells you before you move to DC? It’s a karaoke town. Having a birthday? Karaoke. Celebrating a new job? Karaoke. Need a night out with the gals? Karaoke!
With the coronavirus pandemic entering its second year, karaoke seems like a distant, but warm, memory for many Washingtonians. Pour one out for Hill Country Barbecue, Rock It Grill, Recessions — doing karaoke when people are wearing masks just isn’t the same because you can’t tell if they’re singing along or making fun of you.
I’m still not sure if this is #fakenews, but apparently some folks in the DC area miss karaoke so much they are organizing Zoom karaoke. Couldn’t be me. You need the smell of $4 rail drinks, chicken tenders and sweat in the air in order for me to enjoy this historic DC pastime.
I guess outdoor karaoke just won’t work. Everyone within a three-mile radius would be filing noise complaints. Karaoke, when will you come back to us?
One thing you’ll come to realize after a few DC karaoke nights is that, more often than not, the singers are actually good. Now, my personal theory to explain this is that all of us policy wonks who pretend we were cool in high school were actually theater nerds, no matter how much we think we have outgrown our days in the school chorus.
Karaoke is magical. There’s nothing more amazing than waiting through some mediocre karaoke when your coworker steps up and knocks it out of the park with Adele. You never know who has a hidden talent!
My karaoke routine is normally confined to spinning around on the dance floor to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” with my friends and singing the chorus off-key, but nevertheless I miss it.
DC takes itself pretty seriously. That’s why we need karaoke. It puts us all at a level playing field and reminds us that, at the end of the day, we’re all just people who probably shouldn’t sing Bruno Mars except when we’re in the shower.
I challenge you to find a way to bring silliness into your social life this week, whether it’s painting your nails crazy colors with your roommate or going through embarrassing old videos with your best friend. Or maybe even recreating karaoke in the living room. Sing some Dolly Parton for me!
Interview with Mary Margaret Olohan
Every issue, I plan to introduce you to a woman who knows the ins and outs of DC.
My friend Mary Margaret Olohan has lived in DC both as a college student (she’s a Catholic University of America alum) and as a young professional. She’s enjoying getting to know her Arlington neighborhood after considering the Red Line her stomping grounds for so long.
What’s your occupation?
I'm a reporter! I cover social issues/culture at the Daily Caller News Foundation. Find me on Twitter @marymargaretolohan.
What does your job look like during quarantine?
I write all day long (and often longer than that), but one perk of quarantine is that I've been able to write from my family's home near the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia and spend a lot of quality time with them! We have a huge family so it's a lot of fun and works great as long as they shush when I need to make phone calls or conduct interviews.
What’s your favorite restaurant and why?
That's such a hard one. I'm obsessed with Barcelona Wine Bar on 14th Street and I'd never turn down dinner at Martin's Tavern, but Ireland's Four Courts is my go-to lately.
What’s your quarantine beauty routine like?
I actually started running a lot more in the past year thanks to extra time provided by the pandemic, so quarantine beauty for me looks like athleisure, sneakers, and a little mascara.
How would you describe your style?
I'm into classic looks — I channel Audrey Hepburn class if I can. I definitely recommend this documentary about her life I just watched. I love big coats and sunglasses over black outfits in the winter and bright unique pieces in the summer! I also went through a wicked long leopard print phase that I'm slowly (and shamefully) emerging from.
What’s your favorite book and why?
Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. I swear this is the greatest book of all time (please read it and don't watch the stupid movie). Every time I read Anna Karenina I get something new and beautiful out of it. Tolstoy is a master at examining human fragility and emotion. Dicken's A Tale of Two Cities is also up there on my list, and an eye-opening read in these crazy times.
Know a lady I should interview next? Reply to this email!
The Haps
The Satanic (Rap) Verses
I envy the social media user who avoided reading about the “Satan shoes” being marketed by rapper Lil Nas X and art collective MSCHF this week. Some pretty high-profile names went after Nike over the shoes — even though Nike had nothing to do with the product — leading the athletic apparel company to sue MSCHF.
You can read about that by clicking here.
I interviewed MSCHF’s founder Gabe Whaley in 2019 after MSCHF’s horoscope stock-picking app made headlines. Not to turn into an “ackshually” guy, but every time people get Mad Online™ at MSCHF, I like to remind them that they are doing exactly what the group wants them to do. Lil Nas X worked with them in hopes of going viral, and he got exactly what he wanted.
“We’ve created this version of the world where people just inherently share the things we do,” Whaley told me. “Nothing is safe.”
Read the full interview by clicking here.
Here are more links to what I’m reading and writing these days:
“Stop Telling Me ‘You're Perfect Just The Way You Are’” - This is an article by Mary Margaret Olohan (interviewed earlier) that may be from the archives since it was published in 2019, but I think it will resonate with all of us today.
“Biden should keep dog Major away from people after 2nd bite: lawyers” - Yep, I really talked to DMV personal injury lawyers about what the Bidens should do with their pup Major after he bit two employees.
“DC mayor takes heat for sharing 'preventing auto thefts' video after Mohammad Anwar's death” - Unfortunately, DC politics made headline news in the fallout of 66-year-old Mohammad Anwar’s death. I wrote about what happened.
Cherry Blossom Corner
Reader Abigail S. shared the story of her first date walking through the DC cherry blossoms with boyfriend Oliver on April 6, 2018. Almost three years and going strong!
“He picked me up from my internship that afternoon, which also happened to be my birthday, and we went to see the cherry blossoms. It was great. We walked around DC till like 9 or 10 p.m. We've gone back there every year since then. Hopeful for this year but who knows!”
From The Sketchbook: “The Honest Job Interview”
