The Girly Girl's Guide to DC
Issue 10: Hollywood for Ugly People
Welcome back! If you missed last week’s issue, find it here.
I want this newsletter to be about you, the ladies of DC, so send me your healthy lunch recipes, bad date rants, and favorite day trip locations by replying to this email.
What They Don’t Tell You
Despite the saying that “DC is Hollywood for ugly people,” Washington has a special hold on the TV and film industry. Some of the most iconic shows and movies, from “Scandal” to “All the President’s Men,” are built on a foundation of politics and intrigue.
But which show is a must-watch before you embark on a career in DC? “House of Cards?” “Madam Secretary?” A lot of TV shows portray DC as it could be or should be, but only one show depicts Washington, DC, as it really is: the absolutely maddening sitcom “Veep.”
My boyfriend and I flew through all 7 seasons of “Veep” this past year, laughing and cringing throughout. The series follows the egotistical Vice President Selina Meyer as she claws her way to the top of the political totem pole, leaving aides, allies, and even her family in the rubble. Whenever they’re presented with a choice between doing the right thing long-term or the easy thing short-term, Selina and her team always pick the second option with disastrous results.
There are a lot of great TV shows that pull back the curtain on DC, but “Veep” hits the nail on the head: there are no shadowy figures with intricately orchestrated plans, just narcissists who fail upward and staffers who’d rather go along than lose their jobs. The show concluded in 2019 but is oddly prescient post-2020.
“Veep” is back in the news after Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who plays Selina, told Variety that she’d love to revive the show. I’m not sure if another political form of entertainment is what the country needs right now, but I’d watch.
Perhaps the show is able to so perfectly skewer DC politics because it’s written by outsiders — the first four seasons were helmed by Armando Iannucci, who previously created “The Thick of It,” a show poking fun at the government of his native United Kingdom. Iannucci and his team pull no punches — Selina advocates against her own bills as part of backroom deals and alienates other world leaders with her inability to understand any problem from a non-American lens.
Overall, “Veep” is a reminder that good people go far and bad people only sabotage themselves. DC has a reputation for being cutthroat, but there are good people everywhere. As long as you’re laughing at Selina and not imitating her, watch to your heart’s content.
Evie’s Episode Guide
Here are my favorite can’t-miss “Veep” episodes:
Season 3, Episode 1: “Some New Beginnings”
Selina writes an autobiographical book, “Some New Beginnings,” to check off a box for her presidential run and travels to Iowa for a book signing. It’s in Iowa that she meets the ever-cheerful Richard Splett (the only good-intentioned character in “Veep”), who eventually becomes part of her team.
Season 5, Episode 2: “Nev-AD-a”
This episode about Selina’s run for president made headlines in 2020 when the general election seemed to mirror its plot.
“There were so many parallels to what happened within ‘Veep’ to what happened in the last four years, it’s quite uncanny. Actually, we did a whole fundraiser about it, including the ‘count every vote/stop the count’ back and forth that they were doing in Georgia, which we had an episode about many years back. I mean, just incredible,” Louis-Dreyfus told Variety this year.
Season 5, Episode 8: “Camp David”
Selina makes gaffe after gaffe when trying to combine family Christmas and a summit with Chinese leaders at Camp David. Many of her accidentals offenses to the Chinese president are thanks to the meddling of international dignitary Minna Hakkinen, who becomes even more zany as the series continues.
Interview with Katrina Haydon
Every week, I plan to introduce you to a woman who knows the ins and outs of DC.
My friend Katrina Haydon is also my favorite TV and film critic — be sure to subscribe to her brand-new newsletter “You Hate To See It” about movies so bad they’re good!
What neighborhood do you live in?
I live between Rosslyn and Courthouse right now, but I'm making a move to Crystal City in the near future. I overestimated my willingness to walk more than five minutes to get on the metro at 7:00 a.m., so I'm relocating to live on top of it. I queried about living in the metro, but the current residents said that I don't have what it takes.
What does your job look like during quarantine?
I, myself, am still not totally sure what I do. For a time, my job was to do impressions of AOC on the internet. Then, I temped as a secretary for the Freemasons. Now, I produce a TV show. So if anyone could tell me what career I'm in and where it's going, I'd really appreciate it. I'm hoping it ends with me owning a goat farm in Vermont, where I make indie films, starring the goats of course.
What’s your go-to spot in DC?
My favorite spot in DC is a tie between Recessions and Shelly's Back Room. I like places that are dark, cheap, and just a touch grimy, but most importantly, I like to smoke inside. I am attracted to establishments that have film-set potential and my favorite movies tend to be about 80s pool halls or the Mafia. I once spent a Tuesday afternoon reading Ralph Waldo Emerson, drinking gin, and smoking American Spirits in Shelly's and emerged a different, wiser, more melodramatic woman.
What are your hobbies?
My favorite hobby is to collect hobbies. I have to keep a running list of things I like to do so when I have a free minute, I don't have to waste time trying to remember. Most recently, I have begun a journey to learn as many toy instruments as possible. My newest acquisitions are a kalimba and a lyre. I can play “Mary Had A Little Lamb” on the kalimba, so, suffice it to say, I'm pretty impressed with myself.
What’s your quarantine beauty routine like?
My beauty routine is in constant flux, depending on who I am jealous of that month. I am extremely impressionable in this arena. Sometimes I think, I could've been Joni Mitchell. I could've traveled the country with my guitar. I don't mind sleeping on benches. During those times, I basically just rinse my face with water and squirt on a retinol spray that mostly ends up in my eye.
But on other occasions, I get really into vintage beauty videos where the women all look like glamorous movie stars and the narrators say things like "If you are fat and ugly, men will hate you and you'll die alone." For a few weeks, I'll go all out — facial exercises, scented powder puffs, UV mask treatments, etc. Right now, I'm using Banana Boat Deep Tanning Oil as a moisturizer on my body and face because it smells delicious and is much easier to manage than the giant bottle of canola oil I was using before. As far as makeup goes, my policy is more green eyeshadow = more beautiful.
How would you describe your style?
My style is probably best described as “Mom-In-The-80s meets 70s-Student-Protester.” It took me a long time to find a general look I really like, but I am very much a creature of comfort. I want clothes to be easy. If I think too hard about getting dressed, I'll eventually decide that I am not fit for public presentation and should remain indoors.
My go-to outfit is mom jeans with a bodysuit, because I know everything will stay put. If I'm feeling saucy, I'll throw on a jumpsuit. I wear my Birkenstocks every day between April and October. My clothes shopping is done almost exclusively at Goodwill and Salvation Army, but I recently splurged on a pair of Gloria Steinem glasses.
Know a lady I should interview next? Send me an email at girlygirlsguidetodc@gmail.com.
The Haps
Move Over, Elon Musk
When I woke up on Sunday, it seemed that all people could talk about was Elon Musk hosting “Saturday Night Live.” There were some bright spots in the episode — like “Chad on Mars” — but mostly Elon seemed out of his element. After Elon’s model mom Maye Musk made a Mother’s Day cameo, I couldn’t help but wonder: what if she had hosted?
I’ve been a Maye Musk fan for a while. She’s CoverGirl’s oldest spokesmodel and is a glam icon for women of any age, but she’s also full of down-to-earth advice, thanks to her background as a dietitian and mom of three. Check out a story I wrote about Maye Musk last year by clicking here.
Now You Can Smell Like Dolly Parton
Dolly Parton is both my favorite musician and favorite businesswoman, and her next venture is an exciting one: perfume! I already ordered a sample of her new perfume “Scent from Above,” which has notes of peony, pear, and jasmine.
“Having my own perfume has always been a dream of mine. For as long as I can remember, people have commented on my scent,” Dolly says on her website. “The truth is, I have been blending my own scent for years. It’s a combination of bath oils, powders and perfumes that have become my ‘signature’ and is known everywhere I go.”
I’ll let you ladies know what I think of “Scent from Above” when it arrives — in the meantime, check out my newsletter on finding your signature perfume by clicking here!
Here’s a few more links to what I’m reading and writing these days:
“US foster care system already stretched to the max as unaccompanied minors continue to cross southern border” - I spoke with leaders from the National Foster Parent Association about the challenges facing the system.
“How To Dress With Audrey Hepburn’s Timeless Elegance” - Since many of you ladies love Audrey Hepburn’s style, here’s a great article breaking down how to achieve her style with pieces that are probably already in your closet.
Announcements
The Girly Girl’s Guide to DC will be on hiatus next week while I’m on vacation. You can expect the next issue on May 27!
Got feedback, or just need to vent about a bad date? Email me at girlygirlsguidetodc@gmail.com!