The Girl's Guide
Issue 112: Evie's Aphorisms (feat. Jessica Kramer)
Welcome back to The Girl’s Guide! If you missed the most recent issue, find it here.
I have a special announcement — I’ll be doing weekly newsletters for the month of June because I have so many great interviews for you! So don’t be surprised when you see me in your inbox again next Friday. I’ll return to the biweekly schedule in July and plan to be on hiatus in August when Baby Boy Solheim is due!
Find me on Instagram and Twitter so you don’t miss anything Girl’s Guide.
Evie’s Aphorisms
I always keep a running list of topics I want to cover in The Girl’s Guide, but sometimes my ideas are pretty self-explanatory — a sentence will do. Here is a collection of sentiments I live by, which I am humbly calling “Evie’s Aphorisms.”
If he makes you pay or split the bill on the first date, there shouldn’t be a second one.
Never use a word or phrase unless you could define it at a spelling bee.
Sometimes, even false humility is a virtue.
Always check the secondhand market first before making a big purchase.
Never tell your friends the negative things others say about them — this doesn’t help either of you.
Get comfortable asking “dumb” questions — curiosity will always serve you better than posturing.
Avoid talking smack about a former job or employer if you can help it. The things we say in private often don’t stay that way.
If you don’t want your grandma to see it, don’t post it.
You’re not always going to have a clear “best friend.” Leave this concept in middle school.
Do, but also seem (okay, this aphorism is definitely not mine, but you can read my take on how to apply it to your life here).
Interview with Jessica Kramer
Today’s interview is with writer and host Jessica Kramer. We met working at The Daily Caller, and even though both of us have since moved on, we’ve kept in touch! Jessica’s show, The Based Catholic, is currently a finalist for Best Podcast at the Catholic Media Association's Gabriel Awards. Listen to a recent episode she did about the decline of American architecture and keep up with Jessica on Twitter.
What does your life look like right now?
I moved back home to Cleveland, Ohio, a year ago last June and thanks to a series of unfolding events, ended up with a fellowship opportunity where I got to launch my own podcast (and radio show), The Based Catholic. So, my life has revolved around that — replanting myself and getting that project off the ground! Getting yourself situated or reestablished somewhere always takes longer than you think... especially when you're busy with "life" (constant errands, keeping up with health and wellness, being the maid of honor in your best friend’s wedding, etc.). But I lucked out in snagging another cute apartment with a great view, so it's been fun getting to put that together in whatever spare time I get aside from trying to see my family and friends (and their babies). Being a one-woman show though... it's not as much as I would like!
What topics do you most enjoy covering and researching for your show?
I love talking about anything deemed controversial because usually those are the things that matter, the things that strike at the heart. They often threaten the false identity we've contrived and force us to confront and conform to the Truth. And I especially love commenting on anything that I think I can add a differing perspective on or draw attention to by asking the right questions.
But if I had to give specifics… I would say I like pointing out that our liberal regime and political order that tells us we can’t have a state religion is a state religion, that the disordered relations between the sexes is tainted by both misogyny and feminism, and that the Right isn’t inspired or rooted in anything, but is rather responding and overreacting to the idiocy of the Left.
What lessons have you learned or skills have you sharpened through hosting The Based Catholic?
One lesson that I've learned throughout the process of making this show is that nothing worth doing should ever be done alone. One person is not capable of doing it all, it leads to burnout. I think I knew this going in, but it has been confirmed to me that I am not Wonder Woman. I have limits. That being said, despite the many obstacles that have been thrown my way (I call them eskimos, it's a Boy Meets World reference, IYKYK), I've surprised myself with how I always find a way to keep it going. I have to think it's been a lesson in reliance, to place total dependence on God, not others or even myself.
A skill that I've acquired that has also consequently robbed me of having a "life" is editing, which my former boss, Brent Bozell, complimented me on in our interview. I like to make my guests sound the best they can, not only because it makes the show sound the best it can, but because I want the audience to focus on what they're saying, not how they’re saying it. It takes a LOT of time, especially for someone technically challenged like me, but I think it's worth it. I know I appreciate the effort as a listener of podcasts.
As someone who works in the fast-paced news and policy space, do you find it important to unplug? What do you do to maintain a balanced life?
I wanted to get out of "news" for many reasons, but one of those reasons was because I didn't want to race for the first take anymore. I wanted to let things ruminate in me for my best take, hopefully a different take. As far as maintaining a balanced life, I definitely need a better game plan and situation to come along to facilitate that. One thing I want to do is get more books on tape so I can take longer walks outside — whether in my neighborhood of cute houses near the lake or the metro park next to me — that way I can prep for interviews while being active since my job is very sedentary.
What do you wish you could go back and tell yourself in your early 20s?
So many things! But here's are five:
Everyone has a different story, don't compare yours to anyone else's, but more importantly, don't compare yours (the one that's playing out in real time) to the one you wish were playing out (in your head). We don't have autonomous control over our stories. The sooner you can get to a place of truly surrendering that to God, the actual author of your story, the more peace you'll have at being where you are in your twenties.
You're so young. YOU REALLY ARE. Stop letting the fear of 30 scare you into making certain life decisions and getting stuck in a rut (waiting for life to change without having to change something yourself), or believing the lie that your best life can only happen in this decade. But also, don't waste this time. If you have a chance, TAKE IT.
Listen to your gut and then don't regret the calls you made. You should only regret sin in life, everything else was hopefully you doing the best you could with what you knew and could do at the time. Trust that everything happens for a reason, and that time will eventually tell you that reason.
If the typical route isn't working for you, that's probably a sign your route won't be typical. Think out of the box. Sometimes it's less about "What do I want to do?" and more about "How do I want to live?" There’s a reason we’re seeing a trend moving towards “soft girl era” and a rejection of “leaning in.”
Don't leave your parents and home if you don't have to. Everywhere is better for a while, but rarely for good.
The Haps
Detrans Debut
My friend Mary Margaret Olohan just published her first book, Detrans: True Stories of Escaping the Gender Ideology Cult, and joined the Moment of Truth podcast to discuss her research. (Full disclosure: my husband Nick co-hosts Moment of Truth.) The interview covered all of the disturbing aspects of how the medical system “transitions” children, but Mary Margaret also offers hope about how victims can get justice and spare others the same pain — listen here.
Here are more links to what I’ve been reading and listening to this week:
Finding the Faith feat. Catherine Ruth Pakaluk: I so enjoyed
’s interview with the Hannah’s Children author about her testimony and so much more.Scout’s Honor: Patricia Patnode writes about the Boy Scouts’ — whoops, I mean Scouting America’s — new era.
The Ultimate Guide to Getting French Girl Hair: I still haven’t achieved the perfectly undone French girl look, but thanks to this article, I feel a little closer to it.
Tucker Carlson - Revolution, World War 3, WTC Building 7 and Supernatural Phenomenon: Despite its title, this interview on the Shawn Ryan Show was notable to me for Carlson’s telling of his life story and solid advice about marriage and family.
Ask Evie
Have a question you want me to answer in the newsletter? Click this link to send your question anonymously!
